Rees-Mogg Wants Hoop & Stick, Pass The Slipper Back In Schools

As the 21st century continues at pace, while the very fabric of society rots in front of our eyes, one particularly enlightened politician, a certain Jacob Rees-Mogg, has weighed in his two cents on how to improve our current predicaments.

In a rousing speech in his local constituency this morning, where he mentioned the battle of Agincourt at least twice and touched on the idea of bringing back rationing and spam for post- Brexit Britain. However, the most important topic of the speech was the games our children play at school.

Always one to shy away from modernity, the privately educated posh boy glasses wanker, blamed computer games, junk food and Jeremy Corbyn amongst other things for the problems teachers, parents and carers face when trying to raise little ones.

In a twenty minute segment, he went into great detail about the necessary importance of reintroducing Victorian games back into schools. With great passion he espoused the games of hoop & stick and pass the slipper.

‘These games will re-instill the lost identity of our great peoples’ He concluded.

When our reporter contacted Ofsted for comment, they waved the idea away as foolish, saying that in most schools, children could not be trusted to play nicely with big sticks and slippers, citing the fact that the equipment would be used for hitting one another, rather than the traditional playing of the games.

 

 

 

 

 

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