Thoughtful Housemate Picks Up New Kettle On Way Home From Night Out

Being full of alcohol can bring out the worst, most destructive parts of our sober selves, however, young Vincent “Vinny” Cartwright found out early this Sunday morning that he does in fact have a heart of gold.

Saturday night, as usual, was a heavy one for the 3rd year accounting student, and it seems that his New Year’s resolution to ‘be more nice’ was not forgotten about, even after consuming dangerous levels of jager-bombs.

Usually the last home from a night out, with this night being no different, our unlikely hero didn’t head home until well after dawn. Much to the surprise of the drunken student, he found himself in the middle of a damp field, surrounded by people at a local car boot sale.

The beer goggled man with loose change in his pockets decided to peruse the jumbled wares. After much thought, in a moment reserved for the more altruistic of our society, Vinny purchased a second hand kettle for his household. Feeling full of pride, he inspected the kettle before emptying the contents of his stomach into it. Security promptly escorted him off site.

“Unbelievable” said one of the security guards.

“He asked us if we wanted a cuppa back at his” Chirped his mate.

Upon returning home, hours later, the thoughtful man had the idea of quietly making his housemates a cup of tea each, the first be-more-nice moment of the year. Sadly things took a turn for the worst for kind Vinny.

Stumbling over a chair and going arse over tit, he woke next to kitchen bedroom sleeper, Harry.

“As usual, he did it again,” Stated the haggard housemate.

Harry recalls having to wrestle the kettle from Vinny’s grip as the drunken man was trying to fight the chair he had found himself stuck in whilst also trying to boil his vomit, thinking it was water for tea.

“We are going to force him to do dry January, as well as get rid of the kettle” Another housemate, Tim, has said in the aftermath of the event.



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