Theresa May Announces She And Philip Will Appear On Next Celebrity Come Dine With Me

During the week where the 2017 budget is released, our fashion belle PM, rather tangentially announced a forthcoming television appearance for her and Philip. The quiet, dour, husband of Theresa, has the look of a man who has been dealing with an oppressive marriage, silently, for a long time and hasn’t sworn or passed wind at the dinner table since the late 1980s.

According to the makers of the hit primetime TV programme that is hugely popular with students and the unemployed, the Conservative politician has been trying to get a slot on the voyeuristic reality show for many years.

It comes as quite a shock as to why the pale, tired looking power couple want to show themselves to the public in such a way, but we can only assume the Honourable Member for Maidenhead wants to rub shoulders with X-factor cast offs and average daytime TV presenters.

In a candid interview we held with a source close to Mrs May (not Philip) in a public toilet cubicle, he stated that the PM wants to show the nation her cooking skills and how delicate her vol au vents are. As well as wanting to compete with rumours that the Leader of the Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn, will be appearing on Gardeners World.




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