Weekend Report: 30 Something Man Relieved Lights in Club Won’t Show How Haggard He Is

Tony Valerie, 36, did something this weekend that he hasn’t done in a long time, he attended a popular night club after knocking back a few too many sambucas. The data analyst or The Spreadsheet Doctor as his colleagues like to call him, decided Saturday night was the night to- ‘relive the glory days’, according to the nine to fiver.

While still a bachelor, Tony thought he could pull out the moves from yesteryear and show the girls some of his old favourites from the middle of the dance floor. Sadly, with an aging back and an historic sporting injury, smooth moves Tony couldn’t rekindle the old hips and get them back into action.

“I thought I was going to have a great night but it turns out I can’t keep up with the fresh faced, younger generation, and boy can they dance”

Apparently Tony was thankful that the club itself was quite dark as he was painfully aware of the bags under his eyes and the slightly protruding gut he has.

“I consoled myself with a happy meal on the way home”

There’s always next weekend.




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