Australian Wallabies Finally Remember To Do Job They Are Paid For

Tonight it finally clicked for the Australian Mens Rugby team, after a couple of years of looking lost on the pitch while they tried to play the game they earn thousands for, things turned around for them in a dead rubber match.

Following 805 days of losing to their smaller annoying brother nation, the mighty New Zealand All Blacks, they managed to beat them on a damp night at the old Lang Park, where the blood of old great’s mingles with the very soil they ran on.

Clarity and intent seemed to return to the faces of the men who wore the indigeneous jersey for the first time, maybe the Maori tradition that runs deep in the All Blacks rubbed off on the Wallabies, as they decided to recognise the fact that Aboriginal people are pretty good at rugby.

Realising that the All Black men weren’t drugged up robots in disguise as rugby players, the fear lifted and they began to remember the game they have been playing since they were children.

Micheal Cheika, head coach of the Wallabies, who shockingly wasn’t seen throughout the match due to an upset stomach from a particularly virulent curry he ate last night, kept him on the toliet for a full two hours. He allegedly had to give his half time team talk as he sat on the loo, had this to say:

“I’m stoked to say the least mate, go you good thing, think my bladder is finally empty, might go sip some green tea, slowly though”.

Here’s to the boys in green and gold tonight, as the Brisbane hotels run out of booze for dancing, middle aged men.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s