Leading Expert’s Say Stop Buying Sh*t And Eating Cr*p

A quite sensational piece of news reached our inbox over night from a conference in India of leading scientists, doctors, psychologists and academics, with the outcome shocking the world.

In a press release after the three day event Doctor Victor Funkenstein had this to say:

(Official Transcript)

“Ahem, forgive me I have a rather painful throat from all the hearty debate of the last three days, as well as a particularly vigorous karoake session last night where I attempted to sing “Believe” by Cher but strained a vocal chord. . . .”

“Without complexity and articulation, our debates have lead us to a seemingly simple conclusion and with much urgency we must tell the world this basic analogy of the status of the planet and our consumption.”

“Stop buying random sh*t, you dont need it. That nasal hair trimmer that’s gathering dust in your bathoom cabinet for example or the exercise bike that you’ve never used. This Christmas, Eid or Hanukkah don’t buy one present. This leads me onto my next point.”

“Stop shovelling stuff that is pretending to be food into your mouth. Not only is all this so called food being eaten with its packaging discarded on roads and such, around the world, you are all excreting far, far too much without much thought to where it goes. It is predicted that by 2064 our oceans and seas will be 3/5 human waste.”


Damning stuff.


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