Unhappy Twenty One Year Old Misses Happy Slapping and WKD Blues

A burger flipper at a local late night fast food place has bravely contacted The Rambler to express his woes currently nostalgically festering in reminiscing cultural past times.

Shaun Price, who left school with half a GCSE, sincerely wrote to us about how much he missed slapping the unsuspecting bystander whilst being filmed by laughing friends or strawpedo-ing* a WKD Blue in the park.

(*Putting a straw in a bottle and holding the top over the rim of the bottle forces the liquid to come out all at once when drunk).

“Those were good days….” He wrote.

“But I am just a burger flipper now, although I can fry fifteen frozen ones in like five minutes, I still miss the days of roaming the streets and doing what we pleased, I remember STI Pete (A nickname, we presume) trying to slap a granny on the 45 Bus but he missed and knocked himself out on one of them stand up pole things you get on buses….”

“I’ve still got some of the old videos on my phone and I watch them from time to time when I feel lonely, always brings a smile to my face….”

We aren’t even twenty years into this century and it seems that some past times are already fading into obscurity.

This newspaper wishes Shaun all the best for the future.

 

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