Quite disturbing news is reaching us this morning from the East Coast of Australia, where a butchers shop came under attack by a group of radical vegans, calling themselves V.A.G (Vegans against Gore).
The shop, wittily named, The Squealing Pig, was broken into in the early hours and several tons of couscous were deliberately poured from a trailer through the shops front door. It is not known how many perpetrators there are or how they managed to obtain several tons of the African food.
When the owner, who does not want to be named in case of further violence, came to open this morning, he couldn’t quite believe his eyes.
“Up to my neck these grains were, had to swim through them just to turn the alarm off, unfortunately I got stuck and was suspended upside down in the couscous, luckily I felt something on my foot and it turned out to be a meatball from yesterday so I nibbled on it, and it kept me going until lunchtime, when I was rescued”
Police efforts to locate the terrorist group have come to no avail so far, with Gold Coast Police on high alert after the vegans dubbed the famous stretch of the country the “Meat Coast” after the attack.
Reports are coming in from Nimbin Police, that a shady group of individuals in a colourful magic bus run on vegetable oil passed through the town about an hour ago, but officers didn’t do much because its Nimbin and its, well, Nimbin.
Apparently a pair of hemp trousers fell from the bus, now awaiting forensics.
Fortunately no one was hurt during the attack but Myers next door has confirmed that some of the food got onto their shop floor.