British summer has arrived and en masse, thousands of pasty bodies flock to the airports searching for some booze and sun.
It has been confirmed by numerous airports around the country, including the big London ones, that the price of a hot breakfast has risen three fold due to the demand rising from the uncommon number of cancelled flights passengers are experiencing.
Manager of Gatwick Whitherspoons, Sally Briskett, has told us that they cant keep up.
“Listen, I’ve had to order an extra 3,000 sausages this week, people are literally gobbling sizzlers quicker than I can say sausage, and with all this Brexit nonsense, pork is dearer!”
With this coming weekend usually a big one for people’s holidays, one establishment in Liverpool airport has had to close after realizing that they could no longer serve cooked breakfast due to the shortage.
“Its a sad day” said Chef Pete from Wrexham, who works at the establishment, “I took pride in my work and now I can’t even slice a tomato”
It is not clear whether the wider economy will suffer as a result of the shortage.
We asked builder Greg Jenkins from Stockport, what he thought of this sloppy mess.
“I’ve been at this airport since yesterday morning, thinking I was on my way to Zante but no, this is my 47th pint and I am still waiting for my breakfast, shocking, absolutely shocking”
Keep up to date on the fry-up famine over the summer at The Daily Rambler.