Air Force One Flight Delayed After Pilot Loses Keys

On the morning of an important meeting at Mar-a-Lago, to see why business hasn’t improved since the President Elect took power, the Captain of the Air Force One aircraft may have left his keys at home, it has been revealed.

Captain Conrad Randy, formerly of Rocky Air, based out of Wyoming, has been quoted as saying he only realized he didn’t have the keys until he got to the runaway and tried unlocking the aircraft.

His wife has made it clear that this is nothing compared to what he does at home and declined to comment further. This is the first time professionally the pilot has been reprimanded since he graduated from Buffalo County Aeronaut College.

Sean Spicer, in a press release from his home after allegations that he won’t appear on camera because he has “got fatter”, said:

“We can confirm there was a minor delay to an Air Force One flight this morning after the Pilot may or may not have left the keys in the back of an Uber vehicle”

“The Uber driver is still trying to be located and a small reward will be issued to anyone who finds him.”

The Rambler spoke to a Secret Service Agent who does not want to be named, Jim Toldo from Arizona, who was there this morning. According to his eye witness report,

“The co-pilot broke four credit cards trying to jimmy open the planes door but wasn’t successful”

He also went on to explain that the Pilot had also tried to throw a rock through the cabins window, but it just bounced off.

The President himself was nowhere to be seen, however reports are coming in that a blonde tupee was seen rolling down the tarmac like tumbleweed.

More to come.




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